the truth … a truth

A few days ago I was wandering through our local shopping mall and I bumped into a member of my former church. He knew I had “fallen away” and so used the opportunity to enthusiastically tell me (again) of how he had been miraculously healed by Jesus a few years back.

In his mind, this was a clear proof that what he believes is the truth.

In my mind, this was clear proof that what he believes is a truth.

It speaks

I have not posted anything new on this blog for 3 months now!

The main reason relates to why I ever started this blog at all, which was as a way of me venting first my frustrations with the church, then my exploration of “post-church” christianity, and finally moving to a “post christian” position following my discovery of the “Conversations with God” books. All of these processes gave me a lot to punch and kick about, hence this blog.

The fact that I have not posted anything recently is simply because I have finally found a new resting place now that the dust has settled, and I am no longer in a place of struggle and conflict. This process has taken about 1 year, and the process of deconversion from fundamentalist christianity has been one of the most difficult things I have ever done in my life.

To anyone who is struggling and battling with life, whatever your religion or creed, I encourage you to read “Conversations with God” Book 1 as it may be just the right thing for you to get out of the “rut of small thinking” that you are locked into, and open up whole new ways of thinking about your life that you do not even realise are available to you.

It worked for me. 

 

 

A New Doctrine of God and Man

Over the past year I have used this blog to recount my progressive departure from the insanity of christian fundamentalism to the greener pastures of the New Age. One of the underlying questions I have been considering is my understanding (or doctrine) of God and Man.

There are two ways to read this sentence: “My doctrine of God and Man”

The first way is that it refers to my doctrine of God and my doctrine of Man. Two separate things. Two doctrines. God, the creator, in the blue corner. Man, the creature, in the red corner.

The second way is that it refers to my doctrine of “God and Man”. One thing. One doctrine.

I have come to embrace the second of these two perspectives, accepting the idea that God and Man are one in the same thing, or in other words, different expressions of the same thing.

Thus is laid one of the foundation blocks of my new belief system, my new model: “We Are All One.”

The end of a year, an era, a model.

Tomorrow is the start of a new year, and the start of an exciting new part of my journey.

The picture on the left is a model of a molecule. The coloured spheres represent the nucleii of atoms, and the silver spheres represent the electrons which orbit around them.

No-one has any trouble understanding that this is a model. There are not really tiny little red and blue balls with even tinier little silver balls spinning around them. It’s just a model. Models approximate an underlying reality to which we have no direct access. Our human minds are unable to grasp complex realities directly, so we create models which simplify things to a workable and manageable level. The model helps us to understand that reality by simplifying it to a level that we can grasp. A more accurate model (but also more complex) of electrons, for instance, would portray then not as small hard balls that orbit around the centre of an atom, but more as a fuzzy cloud of energy the totally surrounds the centre of the atom. Harder to visualise, harder to grasp, but also a bit closer to the actual underlying reality that it models. Harder still to grasp if we say that the electrons can be in several places at the same time!

Over the centuries, mankind’s grasp and understanding the reality has progressively increased, and with it the models we use are becoming both more accurate and more complex. There was a time, for instance, when the model used to understand the world was that above the skies where “the heavens”, and below the earth was “the underworld.” Not reality, but a model that was useful at that time. Later on, as our understanding of reality increased, we revised our model. In fact, the earth orbits a star we call the sun, which is itself part of one arm of the vast milky way galaxy, which is itself one of countless galaxies, which is itself … well, our current model runs out that this point!

I have come to the opinion that all religions, Christianity, Islam, New Age, whatever you want, are also models. Approximations of an underlying reality too complex for us to grasp directly. Each model has its relative merits and deficiencies, but each is just a model.

My great liberation of thought that will define 2007 for me is that this was the year I realised that Christianity is just a model, and that for many years I have wrongly believed that it was the truth, not a model of the truth.

It has been said “All models are wrong, some models are useful.” 

It is with great pleasure that I look forward to 2008 as a year of great discovery and growth as I leave behind the old Christian model that no longer serves me, and embrace newer models that God has now revealed to mankind.

Moving on

Last night I went to my “heretics” discussion group and I realised that I have now come to a point where I am simply no longer interested in discussing church, christianity or the bible anymore. I’ve just keep going around and around and around the same circles, the same words, the same everything again and again. I could keep on flogging this dead horse on this blog site for many more months to come, but I feel that I’ve said everything I want to say about the issue, and now it is time to just get on with “post-christian” life. Since there is no other official way of doing so, I declare myself officially de-converted from the christian religion and it feels great – a huge sense of relief! The most probable direction I will take is to “dabble” in the New Age movement, as their teaching makes so much sense and resonates so well with me, although I’m rather taken by the more basic idea of letting a lot of the questions go that have been hassling me simply by deciding that neither the question nor the answer actually matters. So with that I’ve also decided to stop blogging. The other reason is I have a few other projects and interests on the go and I feel my time will be better spent there.

Thank you to everyone who has joined me in this leg of my journey and taken the time to contribute. I’m reluctant to name you for fear that I will “forget” anyone, but to each of you I sincerely wish you well.

So what does matter then?

What would it matter if my doctrine of God, Man and everything was absolutely correct in every way?

What would it matter?

What matters is not that I know or that I believe, but that I do and that I live my life.

What matters is how we express love each day.

That’s what matters.

Deconversion is like …

Deconversion is like a divorce. You hoped and prayed that it would work, that you could make it work, and yet somehow it slips through your fingers and the pain almost tears you apart.

Deconversion is like letting down your team – scoring a goal in your own net. So many disappointed. Such failure.

Deconversion is like getting out of jail. The rush of freedom. The terrible fear of no longer having the security of the walls.

Deconversion is like seeing your shares and stocks suddenly dive to zero. Worthless pieces of paper overnight.

Deconversion is like suddenly no longer being able to speak the same language as those you love.

Deconversion is like losing your sense of direction.

Deconversion is like being accused of a crime you didn’t commit.

Deconversion is like trying to tie a shoelace with only one hand.

Deconversion is like hanging over the edge of a cliff.