My imaginary friend
Hi. I’d like to tell you about my imaginary friend. He’s very nice, very caring and very loving. When I feel lonely or scared I talk to him and I can feel him warming my insides and hugging me. When I feel small and weak he gives me strength. Sometimes I do things he doesn’t really like, but when I’m sorry he just says it’s all better and not to worry. What a lovely friend I have. He especially likes it when I sing songs to him. My imaginary friend is so nice that I just want everyone else to know him the way I do.
I learnt all about my imaginary friend from this very old book I read. Some of the bits in this book are not very nice and don’t sound like my friend at all, so I just skip over those bits. But the nice bits really are very, very nice. All that love! Love here, love there, love everywhere! Lovely!
Some people get angry because they don’t know my imaginary friend the way I do. Some of them even say he’s just a “transference of my ideal” whatever that silly term might mean. Of course the real reason is their hearts are hard and unbelieving. But never mind, I’ll ask my imaginary friend to help them so that one day they will be happy and loving like me.
Some people say that the very old book I read says that my imaginary friend will do some very nasty things to people that don’t love him like I do, but my imaginary friend is just too big for my little mind to understand, so I’m sure he will sort it all out. When I talk to others about my imaginary friend, I don’t really mention the nasty side of my friend too much – no point in scaring people needlessly I say.
Amazingly, I know other people who have an imaginary friend very similar to mine, so we meet together and “collectively reinforce our model”. Not sure what that means, but I’m sure it’s good. When we meet, we all make sure that we have the same ideas about our imaginary friend. It just upsets everyone if someone starts talking about something different so we really discourage that sort of thing. Cloneliness is next to godliness.
Oh how I love my imaginary friend. He’s everything I could ever wish or dream for!