Home > relationships > If we are married can we …

If we are married can we …

  • Masturbate?
  • Remain totally monogamous?
  • Swing?
  • Be vegetarian?
  • Sunbathe naked?
  • Gather at Stonehenge for the winter Solstice?
  • … whatever you can dream up

It is unfortunate that most (rather lazily) let the notion of marriage define their relationship, rather than use their relationship to create their marriage. In fact, there are as many different “marriages” are there are couples.

Your marriage is whatever you and your partner declare it to be.

Yet you alone decide and declare Who You Really Are.

This is the delicious paradox of our existence, that we have no need of any other to Be Who We Really Are, yet need others in order to express Who We Really Are.

The tension between the Now and the Not Yet is sensed at all times.

Categories: relationships
  1. July 14, 2010 at 5:34 am

    I love what you have said here. Marriage and all relationships are what we create them to be and do not have to fit the societal molds that we experience around us. It is often because we try to make our relationship fit someone else expectation that we destroy our relationship.

  2. July 14, 2010 at 8:01 am


    Thank you – this reminder was very well timed.


  3. September 17, 2010 at 11:48 am

    I know you no longer update this blog, Jon, but …

    I think about this post from time to time; I am married, but my definition is my own, and P’s.

    I am happily married because I’m free to be true to myself.

    Wherever you are Jon, I wish you well.


  4. October 17, 2010 at 1:18 pm

    Found you through Naked Soul. You remind people not to deprive themselves of the fullness we create together. Who we really are is here. What one chooses to see is only part of the truth. The rest of it is on a collision course.

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