Jessica’s question

My 14 year old daughter asked me “If you are gay or lesbian or bisexual, can you still be a christian?”

My response was to ask her what she meant by gay, and what she meant by christian. Although she seemed reasonably clear that gay meant “you were born liking other guys” she was fuzzy to say the least about this troublesome christian word, giving up after something like “someone who believes is God and tries to live the way the bible says you should.”

I then asked her to pretend she was a christian, and answer the question herself. She proceeded to ask me straight back what the bible said about homosexuality. From this, I asked her if that meant that her basis (as a christian) for determining whether something is right or wrong was “what the bible says”, which got met with a mumbling sort of yes. As for me telling her what the bible says about homosexuality, I pointed out that it isn’t all that clear, as christians from both sides of the fence argue their viewpoint by each quoting different verses at each other (as they do for many other issues). So then I suggested we just pretend that the bible was crystal clear that being gay was wrong – what would she think then? This was greeted with more grumbling as she clearly did not want to agree with this, but also did not want to disagree with the bible.

Finally I asked her how people of other cultures and religions would resolve the same question. So this left her with the questions of not only how do you determine the “correct” message of the bible, but also even if you do, what difference does that make as there are lots of other “bibles” out there. How can she know whether or not the bible can be trusted as divinely authoritative, or whether it is just another religious book devised by man.

After all this which was way more thinking than she was expecting, she decided to leave it at that.

What would you say to her?